I’m in Charge


“Have a great trip, Geoff! I’ll take care of everything while you’re gone. Don’t worry about a thing, dude.”

…Is he gone yet? Jeez, I thought that guy would never leave! Alright, yeah, he’s definitely gone now.

Which means…


What? Oh yeah, it’s a bar. So, that’s pretty much redundant, isn’t it?

Then how am I supposed to recklessly abuse my newly acquired powers? Switch out all the CO2 taps with Nitros? Retire the stormtrooper for a Jar Jar action figure instead? Tap all those special kegs Geoff’s been hoarding in the back? Empty his MP3 collection of everything but Everclear songs? Pass around Geoff’s personal stash of Fred from the Wood, refill them with PBR, and then re-cap them? Cover the Bailey’s sign outside with a Tugboat 2 logo? Replace all our games with Sorry!, Candyland, and Popomatic Trouble? Swap out the bottles in the window with empty cans of Stroh’s? Upload bestiality porn to the main website?


Hmmm… Naah! As tempting as it is, I just can’t betray Geoff like that. I’m honored that he trusts me enough to hand over his baby to me. So for this week, I’m going to treat it with complete and unwavering respect. I’m going to treat it like it was my baby and I was pregnant with it for nine months.

But the next time he leaves town… hoo-boy!


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