Secrets of the Taproom

by

Part Four: Because You Asked So Nicely… Over and Over Again

You’ve got questions, we’ve got answers. But most of you have the same questions, and it’s not that Geoff and I mind answering them over and over… and over… again. It’s just that we figured we’d go ahead and answer them here, in full definitive form, so you guys and gals wouldn’t have to ask them again… EVER.

Q1: “How long have you guys been here?”

A: Bailey’s has been open since August 1st, 2007. It will remain open until the world ends in fire or ice or we go out of business.

Q2: “What beer should I get?” AKA “What’s your favorite beer?”

A: Hell if I know. Look, we’ve got twenty different taps and a whole inventory of bottles. Give me a little bit more to go on, buddy. Do you like hoppy or sweet, heavy or light, high alcohol or low, clean or complicated, fruity or chocolaty? An IPA is completely different from a pilsner, which is completely different from a stout, which is completely different from a barleywine, which is completely different from a hefeweizen, which is completely different from a lambic, which is completely different from a smoked beer… and on and on and on. Even if you like every style out there—and there are about seven people in the world who do—surely you have a preference for a particular style or flavor or brewery. I’m happy to help out, but consider posing the question this way: “I like (style of beer, name of particular beer, attributes of a kind of beer). What would you recommend?”

Q3: “Can I have a rum and coke?”

A: Sure. But not here. Bailey’s does not/has not/will not serve liquor.

Q4: “Are you the owner?”

A (Michael): No, I just tend bar twice a week to help out the actual owner, Geoff, who works the other four nights of the week, orders all the beers, sets the prices, designed the place, picked out the location, made the signs, bought the board games, pays the rent, chose the furniture, invested the money, and conceived the rules. I just pour beer, act like I know what I’m talking about, and write the blog.

A (Geoff): Yep.

Q5: “Do you guys sell pitchers of beer?”

A: Nah. But we’ve got Imperial pints, which, if you order enough of them, are just as good as pitchers.

Q6: “Can I get some water?”

A: Help yourself. As the Good Lord intended it, water is free and available at the register for self-service.

Q7: “What kind of food do you guys offer?”

A: We’re currently down to olives and chocolate pretzels, a mouthwatering combination if I’ve ever heard one. We’re taking a break on the cheese and chocolate and may revisit it at some point in the future. But for right now, we’re just focusing on stocking great beers. If you’re hungry, though, feel free to BYOF from anywhere else. Personally, I’d recommend burritos from El Grillo across the street from us.

Q8: “Where is this beer from?”

Our beer menu describes the style, brewery name, origin location and alcohol by volume for every beer we carry (well, most of the time). All our beers are from west coast breweries… except the rare examples that aren’t.

Q9: “What’s a (insert beer style name)?”

Flip over the menu to consult a handy cheat sheet on beer styles that breaks down the hoppiness, alcohol, and predominant flavors of practically every beer style ever invented. But NOTE: just because we list the beer style back there doesn’t mean we’re currently carrying a version of it on tap or in the bottle.

Q10: “Can I buy you a drink?”

A: Heh. Just kidding. Nobody ever asks me that. Bastards…

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